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CATCH UP

It has been awhile since I've written a blog. I guess I've been so busy living I forget to let you know what's gong on. Well this one is going to be a long one; lots has happened since my last blog and I have a lot to say (but then when don't I!) so grab a cup of tea and settle in.

Since August my life has been full of ups and downs... pretty typical of a fibromyalgia patient's life. I have done some travelling, worked some overtime, been busy with family and friends... all the things any typical human being would be doing. And it all led to a crash at the end of August. But as I look back at all my record keeping I've discovered a couple of things... 1) I have just not been eating as well as normal (a typical reaction when feeling sore or being too busy - sore+busy = lack of appetite = poor diet = feeling more sore) and 2) I was just doing too darn much.

I am at the "Danger Stage" in my fibro rehab. I am feeling so good (not 100% yet) but having so much energy and so little pain that I have really started living my life again. Spending weekends visiting, shopping, going out at night to take in shows, dinner with friends etc. I am not reserving any energy to get me through those days when I have to work overtime or my life is dealing me an extra big hand of cards.

So I have put in some steps - a plan of action if you will - to hopefully calm things down and get back on track. I spend one day of the weekend in complete rest. Sitting on the couch, watching movies, no housework, no cooking; friends can come and visit but it is a relaxing, take me as I am kind of visit where we drink tea and just relax. That is the big step that is really helping!!

I am using my calendar / alarm on my cell phone as well to remind me to eat, take my vitamins, set appointments etc. Sometimes that little alarm is all it takes to remind us to calm down, take care of ourselves and do what's right for us. We really need to learn to use the tools at our finger tips because anyone who suffers from chronic pain knows that the brain is usually the first to go when you aren't well!!

I started developing some leg cramps back in early September. Dr. Tompkins mentiones that leg cramps are usually due to one of three things: lack of calcium, potassium or iodine. Seeing as how one of my daily supplements is iodine, we figured that probably wasn't it so we added a calcium supplement to my regimen (that's not a bad thing considering I am lactose free and my age is working against me on this one) and sure enough in one week my leg cramps are gone!! YIPPEE!!

Though this did bring up that I am just not getting enough salt in my diet either!! Yup... I probably have the ONLY doctor on the face of the earth that encourages her patients to eat salt!! But it is quite true... our main source of iodine (which helps with so many things in our bodies but mostly thyroid function) is in salt. And we have become a salt hating world. Of course, you can have too much of a good thing, and yes a lot of processed foods carry way more than their share BUT if you do avoid process foods and cook "natural" most of the time... you need your salt. If you do not suffer from high blood pressure there is no reason to avoid it. I've blogged about this before but I will do so again. First - avoid Sifto salt... it contains an ingredient they use in horse tranquilizers... bad, bad, bad. Use Windsor instead. Only buy small containers... after a month, the iodine evaporates from the salt so though its taste doesn't change... any health benefits from it are gone. Sea salt does NOT contain as much iodine as your body needs to function properly. You need to use triple the amount of sea salt to get the same iodine you find in a smaller helping of  table salt.

During a recent set of blood work, we found some of the supplements that were improving (vitamin D, thyroid hormones) have dropped again. This is a relatively new finding and I have an appointment with Dr. T. on Wednesday so we'll see what this means. I am just not absorbing the nutrients as I should be. Is this the fibro or is there something else going on... don't know. But I'll let you know as soon as I do.

CAR ACCIDENT

So on Monday, October 15 I was in a pretty nasty accident. I got rear-ended by someone... twice! I was stopped behind a truck that was letting pedestrians cross the road and the fellow behind me, for whatever reason, didn't even put his foot on the break. They figure he was doing between 50-60 when he hit me. He hit me with such force that I slid forward about 3 feet and he hit me again!! I am very concerned he was suffering from a medical emergency. When I got out of my vehicle... relieved that I could walk... I saw him clutch his chest and go sit on the side of the road.

I immediately called 911... but of course, I couldn't remember for the life of me where I was!! Thank goodness for some good samaritans, they helped me get the authorities and an ambulance to our location where they whisked my hitter into the ambulance never to be seen by me again. So I am worried about him, wondering how he is. I found out when I read the police report that the man was 66 years old. I have tried contacting both the hospital and the police but due to privacy laws (and I guess due to the fact that I could and may be filing a law suit) they could not give me any information. My insurance adjuster is going to try to find some info for me so we'll see how that goes.

As we all know, I wasn't feeling too bad the day of the accident... pretty typical. But over the next few days I have developed a lot of back and shoulder pain. I have had chest x-rays because breathing was hurting a bit. And the doctor of course believes I have started to develop whip lash. Ah the joy!! So I have been using heat, I wrap a heated bean bag around my neck and wrap myself in a heating blanket when I'm relaxing at home. I am only working half days right now cause it is all I can handle. The fibro pain is still at a minimum but of course that could change at any time. I am keeping my steps to a minimum and just resting. But not too much rest because that just makes stiff muscles stiffer.

I will be starting physio on Monday. Dr. Tompkins is concerned this could irritate my fibro but all the rest and heat in the world is just not enough right now so I feel I have to do something. I will be cautious, go slow, pay attention and if it makes things worse I'll stop. But sometimes we have to do what feels right to us.

Friday was a very emotional day. I hadn't really cried or reacted too much to the accident before then and on Friday everything reached its head!! We are really busy at work and I was feeling so bad about having to let others take over and adding to their work load. I was feeling bad that my family is going to have to pick up the slack for all that I can't do now... again!! And I was hurting... just downright, excruciating pain!! It was all very overwhelming so I spent a large majority of my day crying and feeling very sorry for myself... and this leads to my next topic... validation!!

EMOTIONS AND VALIDATION

Why is it so important that we don't show how we are really feeling?!? When did it become crucial to hide our feelings? To buck up... upwards and onwards... get over it?!? I don't mean to abuse the situation and stay stuck in these feelings of angst, anger, sadness and depression but why can't we say... HEY... I'M REALLY SORE AND SAD AND PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!

I posted on facebook that I was having a bad day and more people told me to get over myself than those that validated my feelings. I'm not angry at them for it... they were just trying to help and meant it in the most supportive way possible. BUT...

I think we need to wake up a little bit. Mental health issues are at an all time high in our society and maybe it's because we don't validate one another's feelings!! I was just in an accident... a pretty bad one... my body is damaged, my car is damaged, my feelings are damaged and it has really been a shitty time!! So give me a break. I am going to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated and I have every right to!!

Of course, there is a time when you do have to deal with these emotions. You can't let them overwhelm you and take over your life. But I was having one day, one moment. Maybe, if we let ourselves feel these things we would be able to deal with it and get over it easier.

Maybe we need to just hug one another, hold one another, shut our mouths and just listen for 5 minutes. Life can deal some pretty shitty blows!! It can be hard and difficult but if we are given a couple of minutes to sort through are feelings... have some feelings... maybe THAT is what will give us the strength to deal with the problems and fix them!! I don't know... maybe I'm wrong... but I don't feel like I am.

STRENGTH

I think strength comes from pain and suffering and surviving that pain and suffering. I think tears are a huge show of strength. It shows that you have strong feelings towards a situation. That you care and you feel.

I got hit, I've done all the paperwork, I've filed all the forms, I've done all the right things. And I have worried.  I worry about the fellow who hit me... is he okay, did he die? Finding out how he is is definitely going to be part of my healing. I worry about the extra stress this is causing my family and friends and co-workers; because not only are they worried about me but they have a lot of extra responsibilities themselves now.

I am going to rant, rage, cry, scream because that is going to give me strength. It is going to give me the strength to dry my tears and do what needs to be done. And I am going to care about the other guy because I am a human being and I care for my fellow man! It isn't called an on-purpose... it's called an accident and I don't wish ill on anyone!!

So help people find their strength; don't tell them how to feel; validate them. Make them feel that their emotions are justified and valid.

Most of all... love one another... be kind to one another and don't assume you know how anyone is feeling. Just ask, love and support no matter what.