One of the things Dr. T mentioned that as people get better, blogs like mine will start to slide. She isn't wrong. I think my blog is as much for me as it is for you and as I feel better, I have less to say.
I am reminded to blog today as a Facebook friend posted on her wall about how bad she is feeling. I have recommended my blog to her realizing this could be her hope... if she is willing to give it a try.
My vitamin regiment has increased as I am now taking iron supplements so that brings me up to vitamin D, iodine, folic acid, and iron (Feramax). I don't know if it is the combo of these things, my better diet, my learning to rest when needed or what but something is working and I am not going to complain.
My pain levels have been sitting at about a 2 or 3/10 (10/10 being worst pain imaginable, 0/10 being no pain at all). I mentioned to Dr. Tompkins last appointment that is if this is as good as I get, I would be happy. She replied back that it is good enough for now, but it wouldn't be good for long. And she is right. I wasn't satisfied with my life as it was and so I've worked hard to get where I am... I can' t imagine a pain level of 2/10 will keep me satisfied for long... I will want to be a 0/10 before too long. So I keep maintaining my diet, my sleep, my vitamins.
When you are in pain, there are a lot of times when you sit and remember the things you used to be able to do that you can't anymore... like hiking, bike riding, walking up a flight of stairs, having sex. Oh yes... you stop having sex. Between no energy, massive pain and pure exhaustion, you can't even imagine having sex.
So... if you are a person suffering, please don't feel guilty about not being able to do these things. You can get better, you will get better you just have to be honest with yourself and work hard. If you are a person who is a friend or family member of a sufferer... please give them a break. They are already feeling so bad that your disbelief, your lack of support, your judgement will keep them sicker longer. If you are a spouse and missing out on the more "romantic" things in life, please be patient.
I do not know what I would do without Jay. He is so patient, so gentle and so considerate. And the most important thing about Jay is that he hasn't quit showing me his love. I still get little snuggles when I'm standing at the kitchen sink, he still holds my hand when we're walking through the mall, he still stops and gives me kisses and tells me how beautiful I am when I am feeling my worse. And I know that all these gentle loves come without the expectation of anything more. He always lets me initiate.
Something that you may not know (if you are the supporter of a chronic pain sufferer) is that sex makes fibromyalgia pain much, much worse. I often had to decide to have sex with my husband or not walk for 3-5 days... often walking would win out. But I am getting better (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) and not only I am I feeling better, but Jay will be feeling better too!! So please, take your time, don't push it.
It is easy to dwell on the things we miss... but you have to put those thoughts away. They need to be come goals, not daydreams. Work hard, eat better, get your rest and you will feel better!!
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