Support and how to get it.

So ANOTHER poopy night... and that is a medical term for those wondering. I couldn't get my room cooler than 19 which led to night sweats (changed 3 times) and no heating blanket which meant I got to wake up to the most spectacular leg cramps and sore hips. BUT I did manage a full 8 1/2 hour day with NO codeine!! Yay me!! I would NEVER have been able to make the same claim even a year ago.

So tonight, I have put the window fan in reversed to possibly draw the hot air out as well as having a floor fan blowing on high speed. Fingers crossed folks cause 3 nights of not sleeping well is wearing on this ole body. Oh and in advance, thank you for the suggestions about compact air conditioners etc but for some reason air conditioners (vehicle, building, room) and fibro patients are bitter enemies. They will make me so cold and so sore, more than a snowy day or a fan blowing on me does.

So anyone suffering from chronic pain... especially those of us who are pretty high energy, A-types know that we are used to giving the support, not needing it. When you get hit real hard by chronic pain it is practically impossible to go it alone though. It is very important to find yourself a support team and use them! You HAVE to learn to ask for help and USE it!!

Ideally, our support team would come from our immediate family but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. They are so used to us always being there for them, doing everything for them that it is really hard to get them to rally FOR us. But hey, we need to give them a break too... cause we created the monsters... but that also means, we can uncreate them!! Add on top of that the naysayers that claim fibro is "All in your mind" or "That's not a real problem" or my favourite "If you didn't want to feel this way you wouldn't" how else do you expect them to feel?

Fibromyalgia doesn't normally creep up on you slowly either. One day you are going along just fine and then the next BAM!! So of course, everyone expects there to be a rational explanation behind your pain and when it starts to drag on (sometimes for years) before you are diagnosed it can get pretty hard for those that see us daily to understand.

So where does that leave you? Lookin for the love, that's what!!

First you have to find yourself some good medical support. You don't need someone that is just going to throw you on drugs and then ignore you for the rest of your life. If you are lucky enough, you will get a great physician like I have (Dr. Laura Lassila at The Alex) who will then put you in touch with another terrific doctor (Dr. Beverly Tompkins at The Burke Institute). And you may need to even throw in a little counselling, mostly to help you accept yourself for who you are now and to help you learn how to give yourself a break. You HAVE to advocate for yourself. You wouldn't hire a babysitter without interviews so why would you see a doctor? I interviewed 10 doctors before finding Dr. Lassila so you have to be persistent. And make sure they know they are being interviewed. Make sure you find someone that has similar beliefs (natural vs. medicinal remedies etc) and make sure you are comfortable. They are your doctor... you should be able to tell them ANYTHING!! And the relief when you have someone behind you, telling you it is NOT all in your head... cause I tell you, you can begin to feel pretty crazy!

And TALK people. Share yourself, share your issues, share your thoughts and feelings. Once upon a time we used to be a society that helped one another. We helped our neighbours, we didn't let anyone go it alone. Well guess what? Deep down inside, we are STILL that way. People are innately good and they want to help you, support you, lift you up when you are suffering. And when you talk you will be AMAZED who is there for you... support where you never thought you would find it.

I am truly blessed. I work with the BEST bunch of people in the world. Angela Mosco, my best friend, is ALWAYS there for a shoulder to cry on. She doesn't try to fix me... she just listens. Lisa MacLeod makes me be honest with myself. She calls a spade a spade and doesn't let me get away with any bullshit... and she is ALWAYS there for hugs and kisses when I need them. Beike Halliday is a great pair of legs! She runs the stairs for me when I am just not capable. And she kicks it into high gear when I can only go backwards. Aeron Tesarek, my quiet strength. She always appears by my side when I don't think I can take anymore and she takes the load off my shoulders. And Yvonne O'Neill who also takes a load off when needed and gives the BEST booby hugs EVER!! She gives me a little mothering when I need it most. The other 12 employees are equally as awesome and I just never have to suffer alone. And isn't that what it is all about?

And last, but most assuredly not least, getting your family on board. Leave literature around about fibromyalgia for them to read. Talk to them. Tell them what you need. You can assure them this will probably not be forever but it is for right now. Make chore lists, we have split the cooking responsibilites three ways here. I no longer "do it all". And yes, it took a bit to get Jay and Brit on board but they get it. And when mom has a little more energy because she is not blown away from cooking and cleaning, organizing and arranging and she has more energy to be fun, go out and have a good time, they really start to get it.

No matter how old, EVERYONE can pull their own weight. Anyone over the age of 12 can help prepare meals... and just think... you are passing on all your family recipes. You will actually send adults out in the world that can take care of themselves! Children as young as 5 can put away their underwear and pick up their toys. Children that are over 13 can be doing their own laundry, completely pitching in with ALL chores. Your teenagers can be running small errands and helping with the younger ones. And turn it into games... set timers to see who gets their chores done best, first!! Have small toys, incentives to make it easier on them. And kids love to feel needed and important.

I do have to caution you about online or even in person support groups. Be careful, some are really awesome and are chalk full of helpful tips, ideas etc. But be cautious of those that are just around so everyone can whine and feel sorry for themselves. If it isn't going to add positivity to your life, you don't need it!

And that leaves me to my final thought. Get rid of the baggage! And yes, it is just that easy!! Stress is a big deterrent to getting better. Having people in your life that are takers only, people that never offer any relief have to go!! You know who I'm talking about, that person that makes you cringe everytime you hear their voice. That friend, neighbour or family member who just keeps asking for more and more even when you just don't have anything left to give. People who never ask how you are but are so quick to whine about all their problems. If you are not getting as much as you are giving, you don't need them. Ya there may be a little guilt at first... but honestly, it doesn't last long. And one day you wake up and you feel lighter, and it takes a moment to realize it's because you dumped the baggage!

We have to love ourselves, we have to respect ourselves, we have to take care of ourselves over all others. Because if we aren't well, we just can't help anyone else. So take a moment to read instead of wash dishes. To let your family cook while you soak in a hot bath and to just LOVE yourself.