Wow am I ever feeling good these days! I have energy to burn, my pain is down to a minimum and my mood is up!!
I went shopping for 2 1/2 hours yesterday for groceries which I haven't been able to do in years!! And yes, I was pretty sore last night but this morning I feel great. The bottom of my feet are pretty sore but I blame the unsupportive little flip flops I was wearing and not the fibro. Ya, good idea when you are ready to get out and explore the world again to be smart and wear the proper clothing and footwear!!
The night sweats have become a distant memory (okay they've been gone for 4 nights but still!!) which only proves to me that it was those darn birth control pills! So the plan is to wait for my next period, see how I feel the week before and during to see if I am getting better enough that my hormones don't make me relapse. So please keep your fingers crossed cause if I can stay off them I would really like to. If not, we are going to try a different brand that is lower in estrogen.
Speaking of estrogen, I did want to touch base quickly on soy products. Soy is very high in estrogen, that is why it is recommended that perimenopausal and menopausal women eat more soy-based products to minimize the effects of menopause. But for pubescent boys, the estrogen in soy can cause them to grow breasts... not a word of a lie and can make young girls develop faster as well. It is also not great for nonmenopausal women and even for men. High estrogen counts can cause all sorts of problems, not just reproductive related. As with fake sugars... soy is rearing its ugly head in a lot of packaged foods so keep an eye on it. Even those foods that are not vegan/vegetarian related. Processed meats, such as hot dogs, hamburgers and sandwich meats contain high soy contents as fillers. So just be aware... forewarned is forearmed!!
So now that I am starting to notice some serious results from my rehab plan I have to be extra cautious. Now is the time when us crazy chronic pain people (and A-type personalities) start to push ourselves again and relapse. So it is so important for me to be careful. I am obviously sitting here right now with my feet up, resting, talking to you all! But I did mention on facebook I wanted to go find some mischief to get into and my wonderful friend Angela reminded me that maybe today is the best time to find a tree to lean against and catch up on some reading! I can still be outside enjoying this great weather (cause who knows how long it will last?) but I can do it resting. Thank you Angela, always my little devil's advocate but you do help me keep it real.
I would love to go to a park and walk, play frisbee or bike ride but reality check... I'm not cured yet!! And pushing myself can make me relapse. This is where Dr. Tompkins' 100 day plan becomes so important. 100 days of feeling like this pretty much means I'm well on the mend. I will have periods, we will see crazy weather fluctuations and I will have high and low energy days at work within those days. If I continue to feel really great through all this for 100 days then there is a real good chance I will be "cured", for lack of a better word. Then I can hop on that bike and go for kilometres!!
One of my goals for my better days is a bike trip to Canmore. And I am extremely confident I can do that!! But for today my goal is to stay pain free, walk down the stairs with no aches and pains and to finish book 7 of the Legend of Drizzt. Happy Canada Day weekend my Canadian friends! I love you all.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
RANTING, RANTING, RANTING
Okay so today I need to, want to, have to RANT!!
I seem to be in a constant battle with Jay and Brittany to eat well and take care of themselves. See a doctor when they are hurting, eat proper food... or eat at all!! And then they argue with me or out and out lie that they have eaten, when I know they haven't. Brittany has even gone so far as to take an empty lunch bag to work so I think she is eating. So you may be asking... so what? It is their bodies and they can do what they want.
SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM ENVIOUS OF THEIR HEALTH!!
You see, once you suffer a chronic illness, have chronic pain or are limited in any way to living your life the way you want, you learn to quit taking life for granted. There are soooo many things I would love to be doing: hiking, biking, joining a gym, swimming. I would love to be able to make plans for three nights in a row without worrying about pain!! So to see a perfectly healthy person throwing their health away, not even paying attention to how they are living it is really hard for me.
I would love to have their bodies. They are healthy, they don't get sore walking up a flight of stairs, they can play sports etc etc etc. Then they don't eat, don't sleep well, don't take care of themselves! They are going to end up where I am!!
I would love to go back in time and talk to 22 year old Tab. Tell her not to push herself too hard. Tell her to deal with her insomnia immediately!! Tell her to go for counselling earlier... deal with things better... be nicer to herself. But I can't do that... so I take it out on Brit and Jay!!
But honestly, it sometimes feels like (and trust me, I do know this is not their intentions) a slap in the face! We don't have to eat well, we don't have to take care of ourselves cause there is nothing wrong with us! Well just how long do you think that will last?!? These feeling won't last long, probably just for today because honestly, being this angry is just too energy consuming. But my day started with an argument about Jay not eating well (no breakie, he didn't pack a lunch and was going to football straight from work) and just went downhill from there.
On top of it I got a phone call today and it was pretty much about people I care about not caring for themselves. And this is another reason to rant today!! People who are not well that do NOTHING to make themselves better. You know who you are, and ya maybe there will be some hurt feelings after this but i don't care. I love you and you are not taking care of yourself and for that I may lose you sooner than I should and so I'm scared and sad!!
I have often been asked advice or people have requested my opinion and I gladly give it to them. Then they don't listen and they stay sick... or get sicker. Then they whine about how sick or sore they are!! This is my ALL TIME pet peeve. Do not bitch at me about how much your life sucks, do not tell me about how sick you are, how much you hurt and then do NOTHING about it!! And listen, you don't just make you suffer... you make those who love you suffer because they are watching you hurt, they are watching you be sick!! AND THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT!! So if you can't change for yourself... change for them.
There are no easy answers. There are no quick fixes. To be well you have to change your life!! You have to eat well, exercise, sleep well, quit putting so many chemicals in your body!! You need to change your outlook... focus on what is good, what is positive. Let go of the negativity and boost yourself up!!
Okay so I'm done. I've gotten this off my chest. You are all safe. But remember. I love you, even if I've never met you. This world is a wonderful place. I'm here to try to make it a little better for you. So please, put aside the same ole, same ole. Make some changes, work hard, realize how important you are to me, to your family, to your friends. Someone somewhere loves you and needs you so you need to quit throwing your life down the drain and take care of yourself!
I seem to be in a constant battle with Jay and Brittany to eat well and take care of themselves. See a doctor when they are hurting, eat proper food... or eat at all!! And then they argue with me or out and out lie that they have eaten, when I know they haven't. Brittany has even gone so far as to take an empty lunch bag to work so I think she is eating. So you may be asking... so what? It is their bodies and they can do what they want.
SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM ENVIOUS OF THEIR HEALTH!!
You see, once you suffer a chronic illness, have chronic pain or are limited in any way to living your life the way you want, you learn to quit taking life for granted. There are soooo many things I would love to be doing: hiking, biking, joining a gym, swimming. I would love to be able to make plans for three nights in a row without worrying about pain!! So to see a perfectly healthy person throwing their health away, not even paying attention to how they are living it is really hard for me.
I would love to have their bodies. They are healthy, they don't get sore walking up a flight of stairs, they can play sports etc etc etc. Then they don't eat, don't sleep well, don't take care of themselves! They are going to end up where I am!!
I would love to go back in time and talk to 22 year old Tab. Tell her not to push herself too hard. Tell her to deal with her insomnia immediately!! Tell her to go for counselling earlier... deal with things better... be nicer to herself. But I can't do that... so I take it out on Brit and Jay!!
But honestly, it sometimes feels like (and trust me, I do know this is not their intentions) a slap in the face! We don't have to eat well, we don't have to take care of ourselves cause there is nothing wrong with us! Well just how long do you think that will last?!? These feeling won't last long, probably just for today because honestly, being this angry is just too energy consuming. But my day started with an argument about Jay not eating well (no breakie, he didn't pack a lunch and was going to football straight from work) and just went downhill from there.
On top of it I got a phone call today and it was pretty much about people I care about not caring for themselves. And this is another reason to rant today!! People who are not well that do NOTHING to make themselves better. You know who you are, and ya maybe there will be some hurt feelings after this but i don't care. I love you and you are not taking care of yourself and for that I may lose you sooner than I should and so I'm scared and sad!!
I have often been asked advice or people have requested my opinion and I gladly give it to them. Then they don't listen and they stay sick... or get sicker. Then they whine about how sick or sore they are!! This is my ALL TIME pet peeve. Do not bitch at me about how much your life sucks, do not tell me about how sick you are, how much you hurt and then do NOTHING about it!! And listen, you don't just make you suffer... you make those who love you suffer because they are watching you hurt, they are watching you be sick!! AND THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT!! So if you can't change for yourself... change for them.
There are no easy answers. There are no quick fixes. To be well you have to change your life!! You have to eat well, exercise, sleep well, quit putting so many chemicals in your body!! You need to change your outlook... focus on what is good, what is positive. Let go of the negativity and boost yourself up!!
Okay so I'm done. I've gotten this off my chest. You are all safe. But remember. I love you, even if I've never met you. This world is a wonderful place. I'm here to try to make it a little better for you. So please, put aside the same ole, same ole. Make some changes, work hard, realize how important you are to me, to your family, to your friends. Someone somewhere loves you and needs you so you need to quit throwing your life down the drain and take care of yourself!
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Relapses and suggestions
So last night was a not so great night, which normally leads to a day that is not so great.
I slept well from10:30pm - 3:00am but then I was up for about an hour and tossed and turned a lot until 7am. But I finally fell back asleep real deep for a couple more hours.
I woke up with pretty sore hips and shoulders and my calves were cramping with the smallest stretch. But up I got, settled myself into my La-Z-Boy chair wrapped up in my heating blanket for a couple of hours. I am really happy to say that all the pain subsided and I am feeling pretty good. So good in fact that I have picked up a cross stitch that I haven't touched in over a year because it made my hands, wrist and shoulders hurt too much to do.
So today is going to be about relapsing. It does happen. We go along feeling so great for so long that we forget. We forget to eat well, we forget to rest, we forget our healthy sleeping habits and we push ourselves. Sometimes we continue to do all our rehab and we still end up having a relapse. Maybe the weather changed, maybe a trauma happened but we can relapse.
It is really important not to be hard on ourselves when this happens. It is also really important not to get discouraged. We just take a couple of steps back in our rehab and start again. We rest, we relax, we eat super well and hopefully in a few days our pain starts to subside again.
This is when our record keeping becomes really important. It gives us an opportunity to look back and make sure we didn't slip up a bit. Was I on my feet for too long, did I get sufficient rest in the evening, did I start an exercise program I shouldn't have? There have been many times when I haven't maintained my record keeping convincing myself I was too tired, too sore, just plain unable but the reality is, my record keeping takes me less than 3 minutes a day. Of all the things I HAVE to do everyday it is my record keeping.
It can also give us a heads up to prevent a relapse. Whoops, I worked two hours of overtime today, and went out for dinner with the girls yesterday and had that 2 hour bike ride the day before... I better take a couple of nights off so that I don't get myself in trouble. It is just that simple.
Dr. Tompkins says she will have a lot of patients that end up so much better that they quit seeing her for awhile, sometimes for as long as a year. And in that year off they go, living their lives, falling back into those old bad habits, skipping meals, eating junk food and not sleeping.
The other thing we need to be careful of is suggestions. When you live with chronic pain, everyone has a suggestion, a product, a vitamin series, suggestions and ideas on how you can get better. Watch out for these. Do your research, discuss them with your doctor. Don't fall into the trap of the quick fix. Anything worth doing takes time and work. A lot of things seem to be successful and work for the short term, but you have to be careful of the long term side effects.
A lot of "diet" plans are high on diuretics, laxatives, fibers and fillers. Of course you are going to lose weight quickly. But in the long run, the lack of proteins and proper calories will cause your body to lose weight by losing muscle, not fat. Some are really high in soy products which in the long run can cause a break down of our digestive organs and thyroid function. Most diet plans tell you to exercise and increase your fruit and vegetable intake. Well doing this without the extra supplements, shakes etc. will give you the same results without the other long term side effects. I just can't stress enough to check with your doctor before starting anything.
We are not talking about a minimal change for a minimal amount of time. We are talking about a lifestyle change that must last a lifetime. And what are we really sacrificing? We are sleeping, we are eating properly, we are resting and listening to our bodies. This doesn't make us weaker, it makes us stronger... maybe stronger than we have EVER been before. We will find ourselves with more energy for a longer amount of time. We will, literally, be able to climb mountains!!
So I started my day thinking I was having a relapse to, luckily, only be getting a warning sign. So I am listening. And I am feeling better, and I am going back to my cross stitching. Thanks for checking in.
I slept well from10:30pm - 3:00am but then I was up for about an hour and tossed and turned a lot until 7am. But I finally fell back asleep real deep for a couple more hours.
I woke up with pretty sore hips and shoulders and my calves were cramping with the smallest stretch. But up I got, settled myself into my La-Z-Boy chair wrapped up in my heating blanket for a couple of hours. I am really happy to say that all the pain subsided and I am feeling pretty good. So good in fact that I have picked up a cross stitch that I haven't touched in over a year because it made my hands, wrist and shoulders hurt too much to do.
So today is going to be about relapsing. It does happen. We go along feeling so great for so long that we forget. We forget to eat well, we forget to rest, we forget our healthy sleeping habits and we push ourselves. Sometimes we continue to do all our rehab and we still end up having a relapse. Maybe the weather changed, maybe a trauma happened but we can relapse.
It is really important not to be hard on ourselves when this happens. It is also really important not to get discouraged. We just take a couple of steps back in our rehab and start again. We rest, we relax, we eat super well and hopefully in a few days our pain starts to subside again.
This is when our record keeping becomes really important. It gives us an opportunity to look back and make sure we didn't slip up a bit. Was I on my feet for too long, did I get sufficient rest in the evening, did I start an exercise program I shouldn't have? There have been many times when I haven't maintained my record keeping convincing myself I was too tired, too sore, just plain unable but the reality is, my record keeping takes me less than 3 minutes a day. Of all the things I HAVE to do everyday it is my record keeping.
It can also give us a heads up to prevent a relapse. Whoops, I worked two hours of overtime today, and went out for dinner with the girls yesterday and had that 2 hour bike ride the day before... I better take a couple of nights off so that I don't get myself in trouble. It is just that simple.
Dr. Tompkins says she will have a lot of patients that end up so much better that they quit seeing her for awhile, sometimes for as long as a year. And in that year off they go, living their lives, falling back into those old bad habits, skipping meals, eating junk food and not sleeping.
The other thing we need to be careful of is suggestions. When you live with chronic pain, everyone has a suggestion, a product, a vitamin series, suggestions and ideas on how you can get better. Watch out for these. Do your research, discuss them with your doctor. Don't fall into the trap of the quick fix. Anything worth doing takes time and work. A lot of things seem to be successful and work for the short term, but you have to be careful of the long term side effects.
A lot of "diet" plans are high on diuretics, laxatives, fibers and fillers. Of course you are going to lose weight quickly. But in the long run, the lack of proteins and proper calories will cause your body to lose weight by losing muscle, not fat. Some are really high in soy products which in the long run can cause a break down of our digestive organs and thyroid function. Most diet plans tell you to exercise and increase your fruit and vegetable intake. Well doing this without the extra supplements, shakes etc. will give you the same results without the other long term side effects. I just can't stress enough to check with your doctor before starting anything.
We are not talking about a minimal change for a minimal amount of time. We are talking about a lifestyle change that must last a lifetime. And what are we really sacrificing? We are sleeping, we are eating properly, we are resting and listening to our bodies. This doesn't make us weaker, it makes us stronger... maybe stronger than we have EVER been before. We will find ourselves with more energy for a longer amount of time. We will, literally, be able to climb mountains!!
So I started my day thinking I was having a relapse to, luckily, only be getting a warning sign. So I am listening. And I am feeling better, and I am going back to my cross stitching. Thanks for checking in.
Thursday, 21 June 2012
Record Keeping
Well hello my blogger friends... been awhile, sorry about that. I have been feeling pretty good these days and have been a little busier than usual.
I had an extremely positive appointment with Dr. Tompkins last night. I have been feeling good to very good for just over a week now so we have decided I can attempt some very minor "extra exercise" like a 5 min. bike ride or a 15 min. walk. It is not much, but it is very important to remember to take baby steps. Going too far too fast will only give me a set back so there is no sense pushing it.
Today I am going to blog about record keeping. I have been very guilty of calling myself lazy when I don't cook properly or do my homework I'm to do for my appointments with Dr. T, but last night Dr. Tompkins gave me a different view.
People who suffer from chronic pain are not actually lazy so much as they are suffering from a cognitive disability. This means that they have been so ill for so long that they literally are incapable of figuring out how to fit anything else in besides the pain. So something as simple as recording the days events or to figure out a quick meal to cook is just too much work and can be cognitively impossible. So I have to give myself (as well as all the other people I've called lazy) a bit of a break. Pain is very debilitating, and it doesn't just physically stop us; it can mentally and cognitively stop us. That is why you may hear fibromyalgia sufferers say they are suffering from brain fog.
So keeping in mind that we are cognitively disabled, it is pretty easy to understand how we can become forgetful, misinterpret things in our lives and lose our sense of time. This is why record keeping can be so important. Dr. Tompkins has developed various charts to help her patients keep track. It is also a very positive tool to look back upon to see just how far we've come.
Below you will find two charts, one is just empty, the other is one I had previously filled in. Dr. Tompkins calls these bubble charts. This is how her patients track their pain and the possible things that contribute to making them feel better or worse.
I have never seen another patients logging (obviously) but I do know that I detail things for my own records to help me remember when I've done something such as the day I started taking my Folic Acid supplement or when I start my period (as that is usually something that puts me into poor or horrible). I have also been logging whether or not I take codeine. It is another goal of mine to be completely codeine free by 2013... and I am well on my way to reaching that goal!! I think these kind of records are important.
I learned the hard way just how cognitively disabled I was. Dr. Tompkins had asked me when I had started taking gabapentin (a nerve blocker) when I first started seeing her. I was positive I had only been on it for a few months, but when I checked with Dr. Lassila; she had first prescribed the gabapentin to me 8 months BEFORE I had started seeing Dr. Tompkins. So in order not to make this mistake again (especially now that I am taking supplements which have no prescription record) I have started recording when I start taking things.
I often go back in my records to see how things are working for me. Everytime I start something new, like sleeping with my heating blanket or taking a vitamin supplement I keep a close eye on it to see if I am noticing positive (or negative) results. I also look at it when I have a set back or am feeling particularly sorry for myself. It is very reassuring to realize I AM getting better and I AM noticing positive results with my rehab.
Dr. Tompkins was very encouraging last night about me continuing my blog as well. She does have plans to write a book about her findings and therapies but until that day comes, she can not encourage people enough to share their rehab. The general medical community are very quick to prescribe and ignore; doctors like Dr. Tompkins who are researching other ways to get well are hard to find. And she says there is no better time to be sharing like now when I am beginning to really notice some positive results and my cognitive abilities are much improved.
So that is all for tonight; the sun is shining, the birds are singing and I have a 15 minute walk to take. Stay well, stay positive and stay healthy!!
I had an extremely positive appointment with Dr. Tompkins last night. I have been feeling good to very good for just over a week now so we have decided I can attempt some very minor "extra exercise" like a 5 min. bike ride or a 15 min. walk. It is not much, but it is very important to remember to take baby steps. Going too far too fast will only give me a set back so there is no sense pushing it.
Today I am going to blog about record keeping. I have been very guilty of calling myself lazy when I don't cook properly or do my homework I'm to do for my appointments with Dr. T, but last night Dr. Tompkins gave me a different view.
People who suffer from chronic pain are not actually lazy so much as they are suffering from a cognitive disability. This means that they have been so ill for so long that they literally are incapable of figuring out how to fit anything else in besides the pain. So something as simple as recording the days events or to figure out a quick meal to cook is just too much work and can be cognitively impossible. So I have to give myself (as well as all the other people I've called lazy) a bit of a break. Pain is very debilitating, and it doesn't just physically stop us; it can mentally and cognitively stop us. That is why you may hear fibromyalgia sufferers say they are suffering from brain fog.
So keeping in mind that we are cognitively disabled, it is pretty easy to understand how we can become forgetful, misinterpret things in our lives and lose our sense of time. This is why record keeping can be so important. Dr. Tompkins has developed various charts to help her patients keep track. It is also a very positive tool to look back upon to see just how far we've come.
Below you will find two charts, one is just empty, the other is one I had previously filled in. Dr. Tompkins calls these bubble charts. This is how her patients track their pain and the possible things that contribute to making them feel better or worse.
So it is pretty obvious how these are filled in. Some patients are in so much pain that their charts are a lot more detailed. They have to record their pain literally hour to hour. I pretty much split my charting in about 4 hour increments. The colouring is my own idea!! I use purple (my favourite colour) when I am feeling Very Good or Excellent, pink when I am Good or Fair and blue when I am Poor or Horrible. I have been filling these charts in since July 2011 and I am happy to say I have only had less than 3 months worth of Poor or Horrible... and most of that was recorded when I was going through my gall bladder problems.
When Dr. Tompkins looks at my charting she is looking for a couple of things. Most importantly, it tells her how I'm feeling but equally important is looking for consistency in pain. So she is mostly hoping to see levels consistently at good for a few weeks then consistently increasing to excellent. Patients who are constantly jumping around can usually pinpoint something that made them feel so good or so poor. Most times when I have dips, I can look back and see that life was particularly stressful, work was extremely busy or I had pushed myself too hard or too much. And sometimes I have fallen of my "plan" and have eaten what I shouldn't have or missed vitamins or haven't eaten enough protein.
You will also notice the circled numbers at the bottom of the charts. Those are my "active" hours in a day. This means time when I am not resting with my feet up! So even if I am sitting, like at my desk at work, it is usually considered "active" time. My goal is to be in excellent levels while having about 100 active hours a week or about 15 active hours a day.
I have never seen another patients logging (obviously) but I do know that I detail things for my own records to help me remember when I've done something such as the day I started taking my Folic Acid supplement or when I start my period (as that is usually something that puts me into poor or horrible). I have also been logging whether or not I take codeine. It is another goal of mine to be completely codeine free by 2013... and I am well on my way to reaching that goal!! I think these kind of records are important.
I learned the hard way just how cognitively disabled I was. Dr. Tompkins had asked me when I had started taking gabapentin (a nerve blocker) when I first started seeing her. I was positive I had only been on it for a few months, but when I checked with Dr. Lassila; she had first prescribed the gabapentin to me 8 months BEFORE I had started seeing Dr. Tompkins. So in order not to make this mistake again (especially now that I am taking supplements which have no prescription record) I have started recording when I start taking things.
I often go back in my records to see how things are working for me. Everytime I start something new, like sleeping with my heating blanket or taking a vitamin supplement I keep a close eye on it to see if I am noticing positive (or negative) results. I also look at it when I have a set back or am feeling particularly sorry for myself. It is very reassuring to realize I AM getting better and I AM noticing positive results with my rehab.
Dr. Tompkins was very encouraging last night about me continuing my blog as well. She does have plans to write a book about her findings and therapies but until that day comes, she can not encourage people enough to share their rehab. The general medical community are very quick to prescribe and ignore; doctors like Dr. Tompkins who are researching other ways to get well are hard to find. And she says there is no better time to be sharing like now when I am beginning to really notice some positive results and my cognitive abilities are much improved.
So that is all for tonight; the sun is shining, the birds are singing and I have a 15 minute walk to take. Stay well, stay positive and stay healthy!!
Thursday, 14 June 2012
It has been a tough couple of days. Still not sleeping great and the sweats are still making life miserable... even with the room getting cooler and cooler. I finally couldn't take it anymore yesterday and gave Dr. T a call. She agreed that I shouldn't stay on the birth control right now. So this morning was my first day without it. Of course, it will probaby take a few days (lord help me if it is weeks) for it to work its way out of my system.
I think today's topic is how to forgive yourself when you take a step back. I have been seeing Dr. Tompkins for just over a year and there are days, like yesterday, where keeping positive becomes just impossible. Let's face it... life just gets hard! Lack of sleep, pain levels, stress with family, friends, work... the tears just start flowing and it can be hard to get them to stop. So don't!
Let the tears flow. They are so healing. Who said you aren't allowed to feel sorry for yourself? I know there are a million people out there who have it a lot worse than we do but sometimes it is all about you!! You are hurting, you are feeling unsupported, you are exhausted... so today, feel sorry for you.
Today is the day where diets be damned!! Today is the day where eating properly isn't important!! Today is the day for pajamas, hot tea, a good book or tear jerker movie. Go ahead and call in sick to work!! Take today and cry, rant, feel sorry for yourself. But then be done!
That's all you get for right now... one day! But if you give yourself that one day that is all you are going to need for awhile! When we don't try to hide our feelings or pretend we are okay, when we give ourselves permission to just feel sorry for ourselves then we get it out of our systems. The next day you will wake up feeling enlightened.
The important thing the day after a day like this is to just forget it. Don't dwell, let it go, pretend it didn't happen. If you snipped, or lost your cool with people, let them know why. Don't ever be too big to apologize. We are only human and we do have our moments. But if you've built that support team as I suggested, you won't have to do too much of that either.
So going a little off topic, Dr. Tompkins has added another vitamin to my regime. I am taking folic acid with dinner every night now. Dr. Tompkins has been learning that keeping folic levels high encourage better sleeping patterns. So I am just taking the Life Brand (Shoppers Drug Mart) Folic Acid, 1mg. I take one at dinner for this week and increase to 2 next week. I have to admit, it is helping. I am feeling sleepier earlier, now if we could just get the night sweats under control maybe I would see that it is going to help me sleep better throughout the night.
I think today's topic is how to forgive yourself when you take a step back. I have been seeing Dr. Tompkins for just over a year and there are days, like yesterday, where keeping positive becomes just impossible. Let's face it... life just gets hard! Lack of sleep, pain levels, stress with family, friends, work... the tears just start flowing and it can be hard to get them to stop. So don't!
Let the tears flow. They are so healing. Who said you aren't allowed to feel sorry for yourself? I know there are a million people out there who have it a lot worse than we do but sometimes it is all about you!! You are hurting, you are feeling unsupported, you are exhausted... so today, feel sorry for you.
Today is the day where diets be damned!! Today is the day where eating properly isn't important!! Today is the day for pajamas, hot tea, a good book or tear jerker movie. Go ahead and call in sick to work!! Take today and cry, rant, feel sorry for yourself. But then be done!
That's all you get for right now... one day! But if you give yourself that one day that is all you are going to need for awhile! When we don't try to hide our feelings or pretend we are okay, when we give ourselves permission to just feel sorry for ourselves then we get it out of our systems. The next day you will wake up feeling enlightened.
The important thing the day after a day like this is to just forget it. Don't dwell, let it go, pretend it didn't happen. If you snipped, or lost your cool with people, let them know why. Don't ever be too big to apologize. We are only human and we do have our moments. But if you've built that support team as I suggested, you won't have to do too much of that either.
So going a little off topic, Dr. Tompkins has added another vitamin to my regime. I am taking folic acid with dinner every night now. Dr. Tompkins has been learning that keeping folic levels high encourage better sleeping patterns. So I am just taking the Life Brand (Shoppers Drug Mart) Folic Acid, 1mg. I take one at dinner for this week and increase to 2 next week. I have to admit, it is helping. I am feeling sleepier earlier, now if we could just get the night sweats under control maybe I would see that it is going to help me sleep better throughout the night.
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Support and how to get it.
So ANOTHER poopy night... and that is a medical term for those wondering. I couldn't get my room cooler than 19 which led to night sweats (changed 3 times) and no heating blanket which meant I got to wake up to the most spectacular leg cramps and sore hips. BUT I did manage a full 8 1/2 hour day with NO codeine!! Yay me!! I would NEVER have been able to make the same claim even a year ago.
So tonight, I have put the window fan in reversed to possibly draw the hot air out as well as having a floor fan blowing on high speed. Fingers crossed folks cause 3 nights of not sleeping well is wearing on this ole body. Oh and in advance, thank you for the suggestions about compact air conditioners etc but for some reason air conditioners (vehicle, building, room) and fibro patients are bitter enemies. They will make me so cold and so sore, more than a snowy day or a fan blowing on me does.
So anyone suffering from chronic pain... especially those of us who are pretty high energy, A-types know that we are used to giving the support, not needing it. When you get hit real hard by chronic pain it is practically impossible to go it alone though. It is very important to find yourself a support team and use them! You HAVE to learn to ask for help and USE it!!
Ideally, our support team would come from our immediate family but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. They are so used to us always being there for them, doing everything for them that it is really hard to get them to rally FOR us. But hey, we need to give them a break too... cause we created the monsters... but that also means, we can uncreate them!! Add on top of that the naysayers that claim fibro is "All in your mind" or "That's not a real problem" or my favourite "If you didn't want to feel this way you wouldn't" how else do you expect them to feel?
Fibromyalgia doesn't normally creep up on you slowly either. One day you are going along just fine and then the next BAM!! So of course, everyone expects there to be a rational explanation behind your pain and when it starts to drag on (sometimes for years) before you are diagnosed it can get pretty hard for those that see us daily to understand.
So where does that leave you? Lookin for the love, that's what!!
First you have to find yourself some good medical support. You don't need someone that is just going to throw you on drugs and then ignore you for the rest of your life. If you are lucky enough, you will get a great physician like I have (Dr. Laura Lassila at The Alex) who will then put you in touch with another terrific doctor (Dr. Beverly Tompkins at The Burke Institute). And you may need to even throw in a little counselling, mostly to help you accept yourself for who you are now and to help you learn how to give yourself a break. You HAVE to advocate for yourself. You wouldn't hire a babysitter without interviews so why would you see a doctor? I interviewed 10 doctors before finding Dr. Lassila so you have to be persistent. And make sure they know they are being interviewed. Make sure you find someone that has similar beliefs (natural vs. medicinal remedies etc) and make sure you are comfortable. They are your doctor... you should be able to tell them ANYTHING!! And the relief when you have someone behind you, telling you it is NOT all in your head... cause I tell you, you can begin to feel pretty crazy!
And TALK people. Share yourself, share your issues, share your thoughts and feelings. Once upon a time we used to be a society that helped one another. We helped our neighbours, we didn't let anyone go it alone. Well guess what? Deep down inside, we are STILL that way. People are innately good and they want to help you, support you, lift you up when you are suffering. And when you talk you will be AMAZED who is there for you... support where you never thought you would find it.
I am truly blessed. I work with the BEST bunch of people in the world. Angela Mosco, my best friend, is ALWAYS there for a shoulder to cry on. She doesn't try to fix me... she just listens. Lisa MacLeod makes me be honest with myself. She calls a spade a spade and doesn't let me get away with any bullshit... and she is ALWAYS there for hugs and kisses when I need them. Beike Halliday is a great pair of legs! She runs the stairs for me when I am just not capable. And she kicks it into high gear when I can only go backwards. Aeron Tesarek, my quiet strength. She always appears by my side when I don't think I can take anymore and she takes the load off my shoulders. And Yvonne O'Neill who also takes a load off when needed and gives the BEST booby hugs EVER!! She gives me a little mothering when I need it most. The other 12 employees are equally as awesome and I just never have to suffer alone. And isn't that what it is all about?
And last, but most assuredly not least, getting your family on board. Leave literature around about fibromyalgia for them to read. Talk to them. Tell them what you need. You can assure them this will probably not be forever but it is for right now. Make chore lists, we have split the cooking responsibilites three ways here. I no longer "do it all". And yes, it took a bit to get Jay and Brit on board but they get it. And when mom has a little more energy because she is not blown away from cooking and cleaning, organizing and arranging and she has more energy to be fun, go out and have a good time, they really start to get it.
No matter how old, EVERYONE can pull their own weight. Anyone over the age of 12 can help prepare meals... and just think... you are passing on all your family recipes. You will actually send adults out in the world that can take care of themselves! Children as young as 5 can put away their underwear and pick up their toys. Children that are over 13 can be doing their own laundry, completely pitching in with ALL chores. Your teenagers can be running small errands and helping with the younger ones. And turn it into games... set timers to see who gets their chores done best, first!! Have small toys, incentives to make it easier on them. And kids love to feel needed and important.
I do have to caution you about online or even in person support groups. Be careful, some are really awesome and are chalk full of helpful tips, ideas etc. But be cautious of those that are just around so everyone can whine and feel sorry for themselves. If it isn't going to add positivity to your life, you don't need it!
And that leaves me to my final thought. Get rid of the baggage! And yes, it is just that easy!! Stress is a big deterrent to getting better. Having people in your life that are takers only, people that never offer any relief have to go!! You know who I'm talking about, that person that makes you cringe everytime you hear their voice. That friend, neighbour or family member who just keeps asking for more and more even when you just don't have anything left to give. People who never ask how you are but are so quick to whine about all their problems. If you are not getting as much as you are giving, you don't need them. Ya there may be a little guilt at first... but honestly, it doesn't last long. And one day you wake up and you feel lighter, and it takes a moment to realize it's because you dumped the baggage!
We have to love ourselves, we have to respect ourselves, we have to take care of ourselves over all others. Because if we aren't well, we just can't help anyone else. So take a moment to read instead of wash dishes. To let your family cook while you soak in a hot bath and to just LOVE yourself.
So tonight, I have put the window fan in reversed to possibly draw the hot air out as well as having a floor fan blowing on high speed. Fingers crossed folks cause 3 nights of not sleeping well is wearing on this ole body. Oh and in advance, thank you for the suggestions about compact air conditioners etc but for some reason air conditioners (vehicle, building, room) and fibro patients are bitter enemies. They will make me so cold and so sore, more than a snowy day or a fan blowing on me does.
So anyone suffering from chronic pain... especially those of us who are pretty high energy, A-types know that we are used to giving the support, not needing it. When you get hit real hard by chronic pain it is practically impossible to go it alone though. It is very important to find yourself a support team and use them! You HAVE to learn to ask for help and USE it!!
Ideally, our support team would come from our immediate family but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. They are so used to us always being there for them, doing everything for them that it is really hard to get them to rally FOR us. But hey, we need to give them a break too... cause we created the monsters... but that also means, we can uncreate them!! Add on top of that the naysayers that claim fibro is "All in your mind" or "That's not a real problem" or my favourite "If you didn't want to feel this way you wouldn't" how else do you expect them to feel?
Fibromyalgia doesn't normally creep up on you slowly either. One day you are going along just fine and then the next BAM!! So of course, everyone expects there to be a rational explanation behind your pain and when it starts to drag on (sometimes for years) before you are diagnosed it can get pretty hard for those that see us daily to understand.
So where does that leave you? Lookin for the love, that's what!!
First you have to find yourself some good medical support. You don't need someone that is just going to throw you on drugs and then ignore you for the rest of your life. If you are lucky enough, you will get a great physician like I have (Dr. Laura Lassila at The Alex) who will then put you in touch with another terrific doctor (Dr. Beverly Tompkins at The Burke Institute). And you may need to even throw in a little counselling, mostly to help you accept yourself for who you are now and to help you learn how to give yourself a break. You HAVE to advocate for yourself. You wouldn't hire a babysitter without interviews so why would you see a doctor? I interviewed 10 doctors before finding Dr. Lassila so you have to be persistent. And make sure they know they are being interviewed. Make sure you find someone that has similar beliefs (natural vs. medicinal remedies etc) and make sure you are comfortable. They are your doctor... you should be able to tell them ANYTHING!! And the relief when you have someone behind you, telling you it is NOT all in your head... cause I tell you, you can begin to feel pretty crazy!
And TALK people. Share yourself, share your issues, share your thoughts and feelings. Once upon a time we used to be a society that helped one another. We helped our neighbours, we didn't let anyone go it alone. Well guess what? Deep down inside, we are STILL that way. People are innately good and they want to help you, support you, lift you up when you are suffering. And when you talk you will be AMAZED who is there for you... support where you never thought you would find it.
I am truly blessed. I work with the BEST bunch of people in the world. Angela Mosco, my best friend, is ALWAYS there for a shoulder to cry on. She doesn't try to fix me... she just listens. Lisa MacLeod makes me be honest with myself. She calls a spade a spade and doesn't let me get away with any bullshit... and she is ALWAYS there for hugs and kisses when I need them. Beike Halliday is a great pair of legs! She runs the stairs for me when I am just not capable. And she kicks it into high gear when I can only go backwards. Aeron Tesarek, my quiet strength. She always appears by my side when I don't think I can take anymore and she takes the load off my shoulders. And Yvonne O'Neill who also takes a load off when needed and gives the BEST booby hugs EVER!! She gives me a little mothering when I need it most. The other 12 employees are equally as awesome and I just never have to suffer alone. And isn't that what it is all about?
And last, but most assuredly not least, getting your family on board. Leave literature around about fibromyalgia for them to read. Talk to them. Tell them what you need. You can assure them this will probably not be forever but it is for right now. Make chore lists, we have split the cooking responsibilites three ways here. I no longer "do it all". And yes, it took a bit to get Jay and Brit on board but they get it. And when mom has a little more energy because she is not blown away from cooking and cleaning, organizing and arranging and she has more energy to be fun, go out and have a good time, they really start to get it.
No matter how old, EVERYONE can pull their own weight. Anyone over the age of 12 can help prepare meals... and just think... you are passing on all your family recipes. You will actually send adults out in the world that can take care of themselves! Children as young as 5 can put away their underwear and pick up their toys. Children that are over 13 can be doing their own laundry, completely pitching in with ALL chores. Your teenagers can be running small errands and helping with the younger ones. And turn it into games... set timers to see who gets their chores done best, first!! Have small toys, incentives to make it easier on them. And kids love to feel needed and important.
I do have to caution you about online or even in person support groups. Be careful, some are really awesome and are chalk full of helpful tips, ideas etc. But be cautious of those that are just around so everyone can whine and feel sorry for themselves. If it isn't going to add positivity to your life, you don't need it!
And that leaves me to my final thought. Get rid of the baggage! And yes, it is just that easy!! Stress is a big deterrent to getting better. Having people in your life that are takers only, people that never offer any relief have to go!! You know who I'm talking about, that person that makes you cringe everytime you hear their voice. That friend, neighbour or family member who just keeps asking for more and more even when you just don't have anything left to give. People who never ask how you are but are so quick to whine about all their problems. If you are not getting as much as you are giving, you don't need them. Ya there may be a little guilt at first... but honestly, it doesn't last long. And one day you wake up and you feel lighter, and it takes a moment to realize it's because you dumped the baggage!
We have to love ourselves, we have to respect ourselves, we have to take care of ourselves over all others. Because if we aren't well, we just can't help anyone else. So take a moment to read instead of wash dishes. To let your family cook while you soak in a hot bath and to just LOVE yourself.
Monday, 11 June 2012
Eating Healthy, Vitamins and other things
Hi everyone... I honestly thought it was going to be really difficult to come up with something everyday... but I guess when you live it everyday you sure have a lot to say about it.
So last night I DID NOT get my bedroom cold enough... and at some point I got up and turned my fan off too!! My room only got down to 19 degrees... oh brother. NIGHT SWEATS... I changed 5 times starting at 11:30 pm and continuing straight on till 5 am. Ridiculous. I have still not ruled out that the birth control pills I am taking are causing this because it was never a problem before them. If anyone else has taken Seasonale and had a similar problem I would love to hear about it.
Remarkably enough, I had an incredibly good day... it probably helped that it was my best friend Angela's birthday and we surprised the crap out of her with her gift (a new Kobo)... best reaction EVER!! And it was just a real calm, easy day with not a lot of running around but some really feel good vibes floating in the air.
So let's talk about eating. I mentioned it before but I will mention it again. It is so PATHETIC that when we get busy the first thing we cut out is healthy eating. And I'm sorry, but reality is we have gotten really lazy too. Why spend 30 minutes preparing a meal when I can open the freezer, take something out and nuke it? Because we are making ourselves sick... that's why!! I was one of the worst culprits!! Instead of taking the time to make a healthy meal I would eat a bowl of cereal. And on high pain days it is still hard not to take a short cut and just reach for something quick. But now my something quick is fruit and high grain breads. I just don't buy that other stuff anymore. If you don't buy it... you can't eat it. One of my favourite sayings from Dr. Tompkins "Eat Junk, Feel Like Junk".
First off, we discovered I am lactose intolerant. I think everyone has some lactose issues... I mean how many of us get really phlegmy after a bowl of ice cream or find ourselves a little gassy after a piece of pizza? Humans are the only mammals on earth that continue to consume milk after we are weaned from our mothers so it kind of makes sense. So I have almost cut milk out of my diet completely. I still have my moments of weakness and I'll have a little ice cream or some whip cream on dessert, but I get so sick sometimes when I do that it is just not worth it. Almost 80% of Dr. Tompkins patients are lactose intolerant. Some even feel better pain-wise once they remove it from their diets.
The other major change in my diet is my protein. I have a lot of friends that are vegetarians... and I completely respect their decisions, but I have always been a big believer that we weren't born with canines to eat carrots. Now please, I do not want to start an argument here on meat vs. none. I am only speaking from my experience and that of my doctor's. I very often found my protein in legumes and nuts but have increased my meat, fish and poultry recently and do feel more energetic and stronger. I consume approximately 7 ozs a day this way and my goal is to eventually get up to 11 ozs which is ideal for people with chronic pain. I also make sure... or try really hard... to consume that protein throughout the day instead of just with dinner. If I ever had to hunt for my own meat I may feel a little different... but for now this is working just fine.
So how many of you have been told by your doctor's to watch your salt intake? And how many people do you know with low phosphorous or thyroid problems? When doctors went on their kick to cut out all salt in our diets, they forgot that it was the major way we got our iodine which is extremely important for gland function. I personally have a thyroid problem and have since my youngest son Stuart was born. I have NEVER had a problem with high blood pressure but was always very cautious about my sodium intake. Possibly related... who knows? Sea salt does NOT contain iodine so you have to find other sources... and about the only other source is with supplements. If you do not have a problem with high blood pressure, there is no reason you can not eat salt in moderation. If you do choose to cook with salt, use Windsor brand instead of Sifto. I have learned that Sifto contains a chemical that is dangerous for us. As well, iodine evaporates within about 2 months, so go for smaller containers that you will use up faster.
With our fast-paced lifestyles, we are all working longer hours and not spending as much time outdoors. This, of course, is leading to low Vitamin D levels. Over 75% of the North American population is vitamin D deficient... but again, it is quite prevalent in chronic pain patients. So again, you have a couple of options... you can increase your vitamin D with diet, make sure you get outside for at least 20 minutes in the sun daily or take a supplement. The BEST vitamin D supplement is Ddrops. One drop = 1000 IUs. I am so deficient I take 3 drops a day with dinner. But I am getting better and soon enough I won't need supplements at all.
Vitamin D, phosphorous and iron are all related to muscle development, bone development and energy levels. I guess it goes without saying that it makes sense that such a large amount of chronic pain patients are deficient in some or all of these. Please keep in mind that we are our own advocates. You can always ask your doctor to have you tested.
This leaves me to today's final point. Please DO NOT self-diagnose. It is so important to find a doctor that is going to listen to you. Keep interviewing doctors until you find one that "fits" you. They need to listen to all your symptoms and concerns and they need to test you for EVERYTHING before they settle on a diagnosis. Dr. Tompkins has had the unfortunate incidents where she has accepted "chronic pain" patients to only find out they actually have cancer or muscular dystrophy. You need a doctor that is going to be thorough, listen to you and make the right diagnosis. If something just doesn't make sense or feel right... it probably isn't. Question everything and do what feels right!
So last night I DID NOT get my bedroom cold enough... and at some point I got up and turned my fan off too!! My room only got down to 19 degrees... oh brother. NIGHT SWEATS... I changed 5 times starting at 11:30 pm and continuing straight on till 5 am. Ridiculous. I have still not ruled out that the birth control pills I am taking are causing this because it was never a problem before them. If anyone else has taken Seasonale and had a similar problem I would love to hear about it.
Remarkably enough, I had an incredibly good day... it probably helped that it was my best friend Angela's birthday and we surprised the crap out of her with her gift (a new Kobo)... best reaction EVER!! And it was just a real calm, easy day with not a lot of running around but some really feel good vibes floating in the air.
So let's talk about eating. I mentioned it before but I will mention it again. It is so PATHETIC that when we get busy the first thing we cut out is healthy eating. And I'm sorry, but reality is we have gotten really lazy too. Why spend 30 minutes preparing a meal when I can open the freezer, take something out and nuke it? Because we are making ourselves sick... that's why!! I was one of the worst culprits!! Instead of taking the time to make a healthy meal I would eat a bowl of cereal. And on high pain days it is still hard not to take a short cut and just reach for something quick. But now my something quick is fruit and high grain breads. I just don't buy that other stuff anymore. If you don't buy it... you can't eat it. One of my favourite sayings from Dr. Tompkins "Eat Junk, Feel Like Junk".
First off, we discovered I am lactose intolerant. I think everyone has some lactose issues... I mean how many of us get really phlegmy after a bowl of ice cream or find ourselves a little gassy after a piece of pizza? Humans are the only mammals on earth that continue to consume milk after we are weaned from our mothers so it kind of makes sense. So I have almost cut milk out of my diet completely. I still have my moments of weakness and I'll have a little ice cream or some whip cream on dessert, but I get so sick sometimes when I do that it is just not worth it. Almost 80% of Dr. Tompkins patients are lactose intolerant. Some even feel better pain-wise once they remove it from their diets.
The other major change in my diet is my protein. I have a lot of friends that are vegetarians... and I completely respect their decisions, but I have always been a big believer that we weren't born with canines to eat carrots. Now please, I do not want to start an argument here on meat vs. none. I am only speaking from my experience and that of my doctor's. I very often found my protein in legumes and nuts but have increased my meat, fish and poultry recently and do feel more energetic and stronger. I consume approximately 7 ozs a day this way and my goal is to eventually get up to 11 ozs which is ideal for people with chronic pain. I also make sure... or try really hard... to consume that protein throughout the day instead of just with dinner. If I ever had to hunt for my own meat I may feel a little different... but for now this is working just fine.
So how many of you have been told by your doctor's to watch your salt intake? And how many people do you know with low phosphorous or thyroid problems? When doctors went on their kick to cut out all salt in our diets, they forgot that it was the major way we got our iodine which is extremely important for gland function. I personally have a thyroid problem and have since my youngest son Stuart was born. I have NEVER had a problem with high blood pressure but was always very cautious about my sodium intake. Possibly related... who knows? Sea salt does NOT contain iodine so you have to find other sources... and about the only other source is with supplements. If you do not have a problem with high blood pressure, there is no reason you can not eat salt in moderation. If you do choose to cook with salt, use Windsor brand instead of Sifto. I have learned that Sifto contains a chemical that is dangerous for us. As well, iodine evaporates within about 2 months, so go for smaller containers that you will use up faster.
With our fast-paced lifestyles, we are all working longer hours and not spending as much time outdoors. This, of course, is leading to low Vitamin D levels. Over 75% of the North American population is vitamin D deficient... but again, it is quite prevalent in chronic pain patients. So again, you have a couple of options... you can increase your vitamin D with diet, make sure you get outside for at least 20 minutes in the sun daily or take a supplement. The BEST vitamin D supplement is Ddrops. One drop = 1000 IUs. I am so deficient I take 3 drops a day with dinner. But I am getting better and soon enough I won't need supplements at all.
Vitamin D, phosphorous and iron are all related to muscle development, bone development and energy levels. I guess it goes without saying that it makes sense that such a large amount of chronic pain patients are deficient in some or all of these. Please keep in mind that we are our own advocates. You can always ask your doctor to have you tested.
This leaves me to today's final point. Please DO NOT self-diagnose. It is so important to find a doctor that is going to listen to you. Keep interviewing doctors until you find one that "fits" you. They need to listen to all your symptoms and concerns and they need to test you for EVERYTHING before they settle on a diagnosis. Dr. Tompkins has had the unfortunate incidents where she has accepted "chronic pain" patients to only find out they actually have cancer or muscular dystrophy. You need a doctor that is going to be thorough, listen to you and make the right diagnosis. If something just doesn't make sense or feel right... it probably isn't. Question everything and do what feels right!
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